My friend may be a pro, but what is he getting paid for?
The video is legend by now. An homage to the modern music video, it leads with pro skiers John Symms and Colby James West in full hip-hop posture. The voice of West calls out “We unstoppable!” as Symms drips cheesy melody all over the beat with the familiar sound of pop music’s omnipresent auto-tune effect. Over the next 5:35, the two professional skiers, both known for their adept sense of humour, take the piss out of being a pro skier. The result is pure hilarity:
I just want to go ski, get all my shit for free.
Have fun eternally, or ‘til I blow my knee.
Hitting jumps of all sizes
Competing for prizes
And contracts and hos
Fuck waxing bases
Bitch, I don’t know how
Fuck sharpening edges
I’ve got team managers now
Skiing three days a week
For just two hours a day
And the number one reason
Is so that I can get paid
While the video was created as an entry for the Jon Olsson Super Sessions, it has since taken on a life of its own—on the website www.MyFriendisaPro.com, t-shirts, stickers and ringtones are available for purchase—highlighting an interesting contrast between what it means to be a pro skier now versus 20 years ago. Symms and West’s stock has never been higher. Last season, West’s Claim video segment consisted largely of him lip-syncing to a Tom Jones song in a sort of quasi-Bollywood music video. Symms has been blogging for ESPN for the past few years, putting his own brand of ski commentary onto the “intermenet”.
All if this begs the question—what do these guys get paid for? Because it doesn’t seem to be the skiing.
Athletes getting paid for a marketable image is nothing new. Wayne Wong had his Wayfarers and red-white-and-blue colour scheme. Trevor Petersen had his long hair. Glen Plake had his trademark mohawk. But these were purely aesthetic details—the skiing still trumped image, everytime. In the new sponsored skier business model, skiing seems to have followed snowboarding and skateboarding into an image-comes-first sensibility. This isn’t meant to slam on Symms or West, their skiing talent speaks volumes for itself (West’s double-cork 1260 at the video’s start was easily one of the best tricks at JOSS). It’s just to point out that in this age of social media and image-driven marketing, I know more about many of these athletes’ personal lives than I do about their skiing. Newschoolers.com and ski magazine websites are alive with forum threads that probe the important questions, like which skiers are sleeping together and which musical artist a pro listens to—it may as well be US Weekly. The craziest part of it all? With 71,000 (and counting) views on Youtube, My Friend is a Pro may not only be the most popular ski video from JOSS but the most popular ski video of the entire year. The catch? There’s barely any skiing in it. And that’s just strange.
So what does all this mean to the regular schmoe skier like you and I? The answer should be nothing. There is little to no connection between professional skiers and the rest of us. I think we should remember that real skiing consists of lift lines, safety bars and wet skins. It involves stinky, crowded daylodges or brown-bagged lunches in the parking lot. Our average days are made up of over-priced lift tickets and powder with (gasp!) tracks in it. We don’t get helicopter rides, free skis or groupies. And that’s not an entirely bad thing. Because with our regular skier status comes a lifetime of days spent with people we actually know, sharing powder with friends that we share more in common with than the same signature ski model. Skiing has a soul deeper than the most epic Alaskan snowstorm and it can’t be contained in a marketing plan. Of course, you don’t need to tell that to John Symms or Colby West—they’re too busy having a hell of a good time skiing with friends themselves. And that pure love of skiing is the only connection with professional skiers that matters. – Mike Berard
And the already-legendary video that started it all.
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