airport-chair1
al-sleeps
twitterswiss
I’m writing from Saas Fee, Switzerland. Outside my window, over 40 cms of snow piles up relentlessly, both fueling our stoke and squashing any chance whatsoever of the lifts turning. Alex Hokanson and Sebastian Persh are asleep in a losing battle with jet lag. Yesterday afternoon consisted of checking into the hot hotel in town, walking the main street of the village and then diving into pints of Heineken and Carlsberg while smoking obscene amounts of cigarettes. Roving bands of Austrians, Norwegians and other assorted Euros danced badly in the light of day on the bar deck. We saw a woman spill beer on her child and then proceed to clean it up by rubbing the baby’s one-piece, with baby inside, on the snow, while the father watched and they both drank. Sebastian fell in love with a gorgeous lesbian bartender and invited her to our next destination, a kitchy apres ski bar straight out of Hot Dog. We smoked more, threw coasters at the bar to determine our next drink and did as much as we could to damage the overseas Canadian reputation by being obnoxiously loud. Seb tried as hard as he could to reverse the lesbian bartenders natural programming. She stood her ground. Eventually, the bar closed and we relocated to the Popcorn bar and proceeded to piss off the waitress by demanding that she smile while serving us. Needless to say, we failed. The night ended with us finding Alex asleep in the room, haggard from his trans-Atlantic flight.
This morning we awoke early to ski the 40 cms of fresh but were disappointed to see the mountain shut down due to avalanche danger and the total lack of visibility. Instead we drank strong coffee, ripe meat and cheese, cheese, cheese. And here we sit, waiting and wondering if we’ll actually get to experience Swiss skiing or only the wonderful accoutrements that surround it. – Mike Berard
